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How the west was(n't) won

Saturday, September 10th 2016, 6:00PM

Black Jack Everready,  FMA bankster gang chief executive, was a lawyer but now fancies himself as a gunslinger. (He usually misses the mark by a mile). Heard he loosed off 5,000 rounds at a firing range and never hit even one  target -  just like the FMA

Simon Powerballs, an ex-senator  from the East has been enticed into the bankster gang with a Fishy salary. They hope he will have insider trading knowledge of how to write new laws in their favor (few written in the Wild West yet)



Sheriff Murray of Greed City is a brave and  lonely man – he is a voice of protest and reason for FAs – all FAs need to put money up and buy him a bullet proof vest.

But 99% of FAs are still are hiding behind their parapets, fearing the notorious FMA/Bankster gang will ride into town and harass them / tax them / shoot them . Some might say they have FA intestinal fortitude.

Sherriff Murray gets a bit of help from Wild Bill Sheather but unfortunately his gun goes off even more than his mouth.

Occasionally sad- Gavin-ex FMA-but-got -no-Fishy -inflated-bank- offer-salary adds some help.

Dishy  Fishy runs small Greed City gang . Recently she sued her deceased uncle’s  estate and won.  Then she  bought off Sticky Vicky  with a Fishy salary  package. I also heard she bought a horse for $300,000 named Bentley. She thinks her Dishy looks will win FA’s over (has she not heard about mutton and lamb ?)

Dishy and Sticky  misappropriated a valuable mining claim from big Norm Goodfulla but he will win in the end (you have to believe in good) .  He knows minerals well so perhaps he could sell her a claim that has been “seeded”

Meanwhile President John lost-the key-and-the-plot still reigns in the East . He recently said he would like market forces to work things out in Greed city.  Word has it that he is hoping for a fishy salary from the FMA bankster  gang when he loses the next election.

Fred No guns Doddsy tries the Chamberlain way and wants to form a  new group that would do some stuff  the  FMA bankster gang do now – fat chance Fred, this is Greed City

Phil “Bat” Inkstain runs the local newspaper and walks a fine line between reporting the truth, allowing Sheriff Murray's scandalous blogs to be published,  getting advertising from the banksters, and voting Labour.  It's a wonder he’s still alive (google Bat Materson)

Deputy Roddy is alive and well, but in hiding in his man shed designing a foolproof lock for the revolving doors. Black Jack tried to shoot him, but shot himself in the foot instead.

Dave  Greed-slade  has told all FAs to be scared – very scared -  and now he is offering “protection” from the FMA bankster gang -  at a price of course. He is just what FAs need and  want.

« [OPINION] Proposed two-tier system has major flawsWhat are your big questions about insurance? »

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Lender Flt 1yr 2yr 3yr
AIA - Back My Build 6.19 - - -
AIA - Go Home Loans 8.74 7.24 ▼6.75 6.65
ANZ 8.64 7.84 7.39 7.25
ANZ Blueprint to Build 7.39 - - -
ANZ Good Energy - - - 1.00
ANZ Special - 7.24 6.79 6.65
ASB Bank 8.64 7.24 ▼6.75 6.65
ASB Better Homes Top Up - - - 1.00
Avanti Finance 9.15 - - -
Basecorp Finance 9.60 - - -
Bluestone 9.24 - - -
Lender Flt 1yr 2yr 3yr
BNZ - Classic - 7.24 6.79 6.65
BNZ - Green Home Loan top-ups - - - 1.00
BNZ - Mortgage One 8.69 - - -
BNZ - Rapid Repay 8.69 - - -
BNZ - Std, FlyBuys 8.69 7.84 7.39 7.25
BNZ - TotalMoney 8.69 - - -
CFML Loans 9.45 - - -
China Construction Bank - 7.09 6.75 6.49
China Construction Bank Special - - - -
Co-operative Bank - First Home Special - 7.04 - -
Co-operative Bank - Owner Occ 8.40 7.24 6.79 6.65
Lender Flt 1yr 2yr 3yr
Co-operative Bank - Standard 8.40 7.74 7.29 7.15
Credit Union Auckland 7.70 - - -
First Credit Union Special - 7.45 7.35 -
First Credit Union Standard 8.50 7.99 7.85 -
Heartland Bank - Online 7.99 6.69 6.45 6.19
Heartland Bank - Reverse Mortgage - - - -
Heretaunga Building Society 8.90 7.60 7.40 -
HSBC Premier 8.59 - - -
HSBC Premier LVR > 80% - - - -
HSBC Special - - - -
ICBC 7.85 7.05 6.75 6.59
Lender Flt 1yr 2yr 3yr
Kainga Ora 8.64 7.79 7.39 7.25
Kainga Ora - First Home Buyer Special - - - -
Kiwibank 8.50 8.25 7.79 7.55
Kiwibank - Offset 8.50 - - -
Kiwibank Special - 7.25 6.79 6.65
Liberty 8.59 8.69 8.79 8.94
Nelson Building Society 9.00 7.75 7.35 -
Pepper Money Advantage 10.49 - - -
Pepper Money Easy 8.69 - - -
Pepper Money Essential 8.29 - - -
Resimac - LVR < 80% 8.84 8.09 7.59 7.29
Lender Flt 1yr 2yr 3yr
Resimac - LVR < 90% 9.84 9.09 8.59 8.29
Resimac - Specialist Clear (Alt Doc) - - 8.99 -
Resimac - Specialist Clear (Full Doc) - - 9.49 -
SBS Bank 8.74 7.84 7.45 7.25
SBS Bank Special - 7.24 6.85 6.65
SBS Construction lending for FHB - - - -
SBS FirstHome Combo 6.19 6.74 - -
SBS FirstHome Combo - - - -
SBS Unwind reverse equity 9.95 - - -
Select Home Loans 9.24 - - -
TSB Bank 9.44 8.04 7.55 7.45
Lender Flt 1yr 2yr 3yr
TSB Special 8.64 7.24 6.75 6.65
Unity 8.64 6.99 6.79 -
Unity First Home Buyer special - - 6.45 -
Wairarapa Building Society 8.60 6.95 6.85 -
Westpac 8.64 7.89 7.35 7.25
Westpac Choices Everyday 8.74 - - -
Westpac Offset 8.64 - - -
Westpac Special - 7.29 6.75 6.65
Median 8.64 7.29 7.32 6.65

Last updated: 8 April 2024 9:21am

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